... doesn't watch American Idol?

... has never seen Sex in the City (or is it Sex and the City? ) or the Sopranos?

... has never had a pedicure or manicure?

... has never plucked her eyebrows (nor do I have any concept of what they are supposed to look like..aren't eyebrows, just eyebrows? )

... has never had hair professionally removed from any part of my body?

... actually enjoys washing dishes?

... cannot tolerate more than a 1/2 hour in a car?

... doesn't have a high-speed internet connection?

... still wears her Levi's jean jacket from Jr. High?

... loves "80s Saturday Night" on Classy 100 (or is it Rocket? )

... can't stand that Star Trek moron on Boston Legal. Denny Crane. Denny Crane. Denny Crane. Isn't it time they killed him off?

... loves Dollar General's Fat-free ranch dressing?

... doesn't think Arthur belongs on PBS? (That furry mammal is mean to his sister and his friends are always fighting with each other and calling each other names.)

... wishes young girls would look in the mirror before they leave and realize that the roll of fat hanging over the low-rise jeans and peeking out from under their itty-bitty t's is just gross. And, don't even get me started on the g-string poking out of the back.

... could eat english muffin pizza for dinner every day of my life?

... lost weight on a cruise? (Cruise food is not vegetarian- or diet-friendly.)

... likes the smell of gasoline?

... does not own eyeshadow?

... wishes the radio stations would stop playing James Blunt's "Beautiful" every 15 minutes?

... doesn't "get" the whole fantasy league stuff? (Aren't real sports enough? )

... has never been west of Detroit?

P.S. Yes, the kids and my Dad survived and even thrived during their two days together.

And, no, I did not get Bon Jovi tickets because as I wrote at the end of my blog yesterday, advance sale tickets sometimes suck -- advance sale only means that you can buy the tickets in advance, you don't get your pick of all the available seats until tickets go on sale to the public. I'm taking my chances, I know, but for $100, I'm not going to settle for just any seats. Which now means, I'll have to kick it up during my long run tomorrow morning in order to log on in time to get tickets at 10 a.m. I can think of no better motivation to run like hell than Bon Jovi, can you?

Have a good weekend. Do something that makes you happy -- even if it's playing fantasy baseball, sniffing gasoline, taking a long car ride (what are you Rockefeller? ) or letting someone rip the hair out of your thighs.