It's been six years since my sister-in-law Mary Grace lost her battle with ovarian cancer. Today, is the anniversary of her death. And, so I think about her today, of course.

But, really, it's not different than almost every day of my life since that awful hot August day in 2000, standing by that ugly hospital bed in her living room, squeezing her hand, hoping she knew it was me saying goodbye. She's never far from my thoughts. I miss her terribly and hope that wherever she is she misses me, too.

It's selfish, I suppose. To think only about me and my loss. I am one of many who miss Mary Grace. She left behind two children, a husband (my brother) and a HUGE family and legion of friends.

Her daughter, Eliza, was just 4 years old when Grace died.

Shortly after the funeral, a coworker said to me "Well, thank God your brother has Eliza to keep him going."

And it was ironic because I had just been wondering why God would've brought Eliza into this world (Grace was almost 40 when she had Eliza) if he was going to take her mother away. I, in my grief, thought it was especially cruel to give us this gift -- this beautiful dark-eyed princess -- and then take her mother away. What the hell was the point anyway?

This led me to question whether -- knowing what I know now, knowing how all of this is going to end, would I have chosen not to have had Grace in my life? Knowing that I would only have 10 years with her and that she would leave in a horrible, painful, heart-breaking way -- do I wish I had never known her?

Not a chance.

I was blessed to have had her in my life (even if it was about 35 years too short).

Her death changed my life forever. I've never been the same and I never will be again.

And maybe that's the point.