I'm hooked on "Friday Night Lights" -- a TV show (now on Wednesdays) about a Texas high school football team. (OK, truth be told, I'm hooked on the cute coach). Anyway, point is, in last night's episode the quarterback's dad came home on a two-week leave from Iraq and preceeded to undermine his son's confidence through a series of subtle (but powerful) statements, comments, sideways glances -- all the while ignoring the fact that the kid has been handling everything (including his grandmother who is suffering from Alzheimers) while his Dad's been away.

It was a classic case of "critical eye parenting" -- where a parent seemingly only notices the things their kid does wrong. For instance, with a critical eye parent, if a child cleaned their entire room, the parent would walk in & say "Wow, it looks great, but why didn't you straighten your bookshelves?" or if they had a report card with four As and one B-, the critical eye parent would say, "How come you got this B?"

I first heard the term "critical eye parent" when I went to see Kevin Leman, author of "The Birth Order Book" speak. He talked about how damaging it is to children and their self-confidence.

It may have been the first I heard the term, but I was quite familiar with the concept. Truth is, most of us were raised by critical eye parents and most of us, today, slip easily into that role. It's what we, as parents, are trained to do. We correct out of love -- we want our kids to be good kids who excel at the things they do -- but what we end up doing is sending our child the message that they are never good enough.

I try hard not to be a critical eye parent. I do my best to ignore the little not-quite-right things and focus on positive behavior. I always thank them when we get out of the house in the morning without any drama or fighting. When they play nicely together, I make a big fuss about what good sisters they are and how nice it is that they are good to each other. I let them hear me bragging about how they made their bed (and, possibly more importantly, I leave the bed all rumpled and askew and resist the urge to fix it so it's perfect).

But, it's a struggle for me. It's just not in my nature to notice the good. I'm an editor and my critical eye is important here. I get paid to find things that are wrong. And, to fix them.

Both of which are skills I know I need to leave at the office.

My 5-year-old recently hit a little-kid milestone. She's learned to tell a joke, specifically a knock-knock joke.

They're not good jokes. Really, they make no sense at all, but she and her little sister find them hilarious and that cracks me up.

It wasn't quite Jr's Last Laugh, but you might have thought so at Subway the other night when Kelly entertained the table with her newfound sense of humor.

Her jokes go something like thi:

"Mommy, mommy....knock, knock."

"Who's there"

(she looks around the restaurant for something to say) "Garbage can"

"Garbage can who?"

"Garbage can butt stinky face."

This, of course, if followed by uproarious laughter from herself and her sister who was, by then, literally ROFL (for those of you not versed in IM speak, that's Rolling On the Floor Laughing).

After I brushed the crumbs off the little one's back and made her sit back in the booth, I haul out the grandaddy of knock-knock jokes. I'd been waiting to lay this one on her:

"Knock, knock"

5yo says, "Who's there?"
"Banana"
"Banana who?"

"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Banana"
"Banana who?"

"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Orange"
"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

Cue more uproarious high-pitched little girl laughter.

"Mommy, that's ... that's a tricky one! That's funny."

Ah ... just wait until she hears the diarrhea song I've been saving up since grade school. Ohhh...or the "Kindergarten babies, first grade snots" song. Not to mention "Miss Mary Mack," "Miss Suzy Had a Steamboat," and "I'm Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee."

I have so much to teach them ... so many laughs to come.

Much as I miss my babies, I'm kinda liking these preschool years.

If I have one wish for my daughters -- one thing I want more for them than anything else -- it's that they become the best of friends. I desperately want them to be each other's strongest supporter and I want them to confide in each other, conspire together (yes, even against me) and move to the same city and share their first apartment together. OK...that's going a bit far into the future, but the point is that I want them to always have each other (because they won't always have me and their dad).

I consciously try to foster that type of close sister relationship -- even letting them "sleep over" in each other's rooms (when I know I'm just going to have to go up at 11 p.m. and separate them).

So far, it appears to be working.

I'm especially proud of how consdierate they are of each other. They've took the "sharing" lesson to heart. Just yesterday, when I picked them up from preschool, Kelly had two Hershey Kisses that had been given to her by a classmate who had just been to Hershey, Pa. Now ... Kelly is a known chocolate-hound, there is nothing she loves more (except maybe ice cream with sprinkles), so I was blown away when she handed one of those kisses over to her sister. She had SAVED CHOCOLATES so she could share them with her little sister!

That's not to say it's all sunshine and roses at Casa Cass. They get into sister fights and can get to annoying and irritating each other. Kelly "did time" on the naughty stool just last night for whacking her sister -- though, in her defense, they were both very tired and irritable and needed to go to bed.

When her time was up and she apologized to her sister, Kelly wanted a snack. She wanted to make it herself and I'm trying to encourage indepedence, so I let her.

I went out to the kitchen to make a snack for Lauren too -- because I knew she'd want one when she saw Kelly with hers.

But, I didn't have to.

Kelly had already made her one, of course.

I felt a cold coming on yesterday. I wasn't surprised -- it's that time of year and it seems that everyone is sniffling, dripping and hacking lately -- including my kids, co-workers, husband and the cashier at the grocery store who sneezed on my change.

I woke up with that weird feeling in the back of my throat yesterday. It got worse throughout the day and I expected that I would wake up this morning with a full-blown cold. Except that I happened to mention my impending cold to email to girlfriend Jen. She told me that she had taken Zicam over the weekend and it seemed to stop her cold.

So, I picked some up on the way home, thinking that I might just have shelled out $8 for snake oil. But since almost every cold I have turns into a sinus infection that lasts for weeks, what did I have to lose (besides my $8, I mean).

But, damn if it didn't work!

Whether it was the Zicam or whether I was just wrong about the cold coming on, I have nothing more than a semi-scratchy/sore throat today. No running nose, no watering eyes, no headache, no cough, no fever, no nothing!

According to the packaging:
Zicam is best used at the first sign of a cold and you are supposed to continue to use it for 48 hours afer your symptoms subside.

Zicam contains zinc and comes in several forms -- including a tablet that disolves on your tongue, a mouth/throat spray, nasal swabs and a nasal gel. I opted for the nasal gel, which was, well, kind of an interesting feeling, but it only took a few seconds for it to dry or travel down my nasal cavities or whatever it is that it does.

It was the best $8 I spent this week.

Today is Bargain Friday -- here are some great deals I've recently spotted, found or happened upon that I thought worth sharing:

SPLASH LAGOON MOMMY-AND-ME DEAL
In case you missed it in yesterday's Showcase section, the Splash Lagoon Indoor Water Park's Mommy-and-Me (or Daddy-and-me) deal is BACK! On Mondays & Thursdays, one adult gets in free with a paid child's admission ($16). Additional children are just $10.

As a Mommy with Mondays off and two bored preschoolers (who also happen to be excellent swimmers), I couldn't be more thrilled! For anyone who's gone there and paid regular admission of $25 per person (adult or child), you know this is a bargain and one the Cass girls will be taking advantage of several times to chase away the winter blues!

YORK PHOTO
Long a devotee of Clubphoto.com, I got irritated recently when they never ran a Christmas special to order prints at a cheaper price -- and I'm not paying the regular 15 cents-a-print price, I went looking for a better deal. Happened to hear from a Web friend about yorkphoto.com who were offering a special for 2 cent prints (yes, 2 cents). Now, I know what you're thinking -- was shipping $9? Nope. $2.99! I ordered over 150 photos for $25 -- and that included a CD of the images and index prints. I got my order yesterday and the photo quality is at least as good as ClubPhoto and I paid a 1/4 of the price.

The 2 cent deal is expired now, but they're running a special for 8 cents-a-print which is half of what most other processors charge.

J.C.PENNEY's WINTER GEAR
J.C.Penney's is having a sweet winter sale -- in store and online. I just ordered a suede brown barn coat in petite (do you have any idea how hard it is to find coats -- at a reasonable price -- in petite sizes?) for $30!

Happy shopping!

Fitness guru Bob Greene was on Oprah yesterday talking about his latest book, "The Best Life Diet." According the publisher, the book, $26, is "a lifetime plan for losing weight and keeping it off."

"Divided into three phases, The Best Life Diet gives you the tools you need to change your life. In each phase, you'll be asked to reexamine the decisions you make on a daily basis and gradually alter your habits to achieve lasting results."

You can read more about the book here (you'll have to cut & paste the link)http://www.amazon.com/Best-Life-Diet-Bob-Greene/dp/1416540660/sr=8-1/qid=1168953651/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-9690090-7932111?ie=UTF8&s=books

Now, I personally, find Bob extremely boring. He seems to have the personality of the brick wall behind my desk -- I mean, you're on OPRAH, man, laugh, smile, joke around a bit, have fun with it. This guy is DRY. He just looks so uncomfortable whenever he's there (and, for the record, so does Oprah). I suppose that maybe hanging out with your personal trainer is a little bit like seeing your gynocologist at the mall. You just want to duck into the nearest store.

But, I digress.

Oprah brought out a bunch of different women who changed their lives after following advice Bob gave during his many Oprah appearances for from reading his other books -- namely "Make the Connection" -- the book he co-authored with Oprah in 1996. Some of these people had lost as much as 200 pounds. All of them looked incredible. I don't think one of them was more than a size 8. And, they're keeping it off.

Why?

Simple. They changed their entire lives.

(gulp)

It's not as hard as you might think. I did it. And, all it takes is baby steps. You can't do it all at once. You cannot start exercising, cut all fat from your diet, switch to diet pop and swear off chocolate. You will be setting yourself up to fail.

Bob says there are just six foods he askes his clients to immediately eliminate from their diets that will almost always result in a significant weight loss:
1. Soda
2. Trans fat
3. Fried foods
4. Regular pasta (whole wheat or multi-grain is better)
5. White bread (again, whole wheat or multi-grain is OK)
6. High-fat dairy (low-fat or no-fat is OK)

Why these six foods? Because...according to Bob, most Americans have a problem with at least one (if not more) of these and by eliminating these, they are taking the first baby step toward choosing a healthier lifestyle and dropping the weight.

When they eliminate these foods, they see results and they are then motivated to continue and to ramp up their exercise schedule, cut more fatty foods (or substitute them with healthier versions).

Drastic dieting does not work. Skipping meals does not work. Depriving yourself does not work. Exercise works. Portion control works. Making smarter food choices works.

Bob Greene's laid it all out for you in black and white with a hardback cover.

Are you ready to live your best life?

I got a new desk calendar for Christmas -- Wild Words from Wild Women -- filled with quotes from famous women in history. Today's made me laugh out loud -- and had a real element of truth to it too, so I thought I'd share it:

"I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No, I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?" -- Maria Bamfod, humor headliner

Yes...now that's what I really need.

My 5-year-old daughter and I were driving to the grocery store last weekend, chatting as usual when the subject of age (or was it babies) came up.

Kelly talked excitedly about getting bigger and older and the things she'd be able to do (go to Kindergarten, etc.) and I remarked that I didn't want her to get any bigger or any older.

"I want you to stay my little girl forever, Kelly. I'll be so sad when my girls grow up and I don't have any babies to hold anymore. What will I do when I can't carry you anymore? I don't want you to get bigger. I want you to stay small so I can hold you forever."

She was quiet for a few seconds and then she said, "Well, Mommy, that's just not going to happen. I have to get bigger -- it's just what happens. You can't stop it."

No, I can't. And, I'm not even sure I would if I could.

One of my most vivid and terrifying memories from childhood was being lost at the Millcreek Mall. I remember standing in front of Sears beginning to panic and finally breaking into tears. It was then that some other mall shopper realized I was lost and took me to that blue (wasn’t it blue?) mall services area in the center of the mall. That’s where all the lost kids ended up – waiting, usually in tears, as the mall staff used the mall-wide P.A. system to page their parents. I was probably 7 or 8 years old. I remember being scared to death and vowing never to let my mother out of my sight again.

Saturday I lost my 4-year-old at Wal-Mart (which is about as big as the Millcreek Mall). I typically avoid taking two kids shopping. It’s just too hard to keep an eye on each of them and try to shop, too. But, my husband was helping his parents with a home project and we needed food, so off we went.

They were running around while I browsed through the active wear and next thing I knew, the little one was missing. I kept my cool – God forbid anyone realized I’d lost my child! But, soon, I realized she was nowhere nearby and I started to panic. Any embarrassment of being labeled a “bad mom” went out the window when I realized she was really gone. I started yelling her name and frantically searching around the clothing racks. I started to attract attention and a couple of other shoppers volunteered to help me look for her.

Just then, I heard “Heather, please come to the Jewelry Counter, we have your daughter.”

I hoisted my older daughter up into the cart and ran (literally) to the jewelry counter and there was my pigtailed preschooler, her big brown eyes and cheeks wet with tears, her nose running and her bottom lip trembling. It was all I could do not to cry myself as I scooped her up and did the mommy’s-so-sorry cradle/rock.

The one good thing that may have come out of this is that it’s unlikely she’ll stray from me next time we go shopping. She happily sat in the cart for the remainder of the hour-long shopping trip.

The only vegetable my 5-year-old will eat willingly is corn. She especially loves corn on the cob -- this is why I will shell out big bucks for less-than-tasty corn on the cob in January (and that is why I get highly irritated when she doesn't eat it).

On Monday, she left her corn laying on her plate. When I asked why she didn't eat it, she said it hurt her "wiggly tooth."

I took a look inside and, sure enough, one of her bottom front teeth is loose.

I feined excitement, lest she be frightened about losing her teeth, but in truth my heart sank a little. I mean, she's losing her BABY teeth! One more remnant of childhood soon to be gone forever.

It seems one of my kids is reaching a new milestone or acquiring a new skill every other day now and frankly, it's all just happening too quickly for me.

What next? Training bras? The "talk"? College applications? Helping Kelly pick out a china pattern for her wedding registry?

Wasn't it just yesterday I was running my finger over her drool-covered gums in search of new baby teeth. The ones that now, a mere 5 years later, are falling out?

I never thought it would be this hard. I thought I'd celebrate every milestone, cheer every accomplishment and beam with pride at my "big" girls. And, I do -- on the outside anyway.

Inside I'm still struggling to find a balance between wanting my girls to grow up and wanting them to stay my baby girls forever.

We'd been putting it off for years -- 13 to be exact -- but the ache in our backs demanded that the hubby and I bite the bullet, open our wallets and spring for a new mattress and box springs.

As the delivery guys from John V. Schultz hauled out our old mattress yesterday I realized just how old it was. There, in the wood of the box springs, were claw and teeth marks left by our yellow lab pup, Cassie, 13 years ago. She was frightened by a storm and had shredded the underside of our brand new box springs.

Our new mattresses and box springs didn't look that big in the J.V.S. showroom on upper Peach Street. Only when they set the bed up in our room yesterday did I realize how much mattresses had grown over the years. It is positively enormous. It dwarfs our headboard, my cedar chest and both nightstands. I, literally, laugh out loud every time I walk into the room and see that mammoth bed.

The only thing funnier is trying to get my 5-foot-2-inch frame up on the bed. I feel like the princess in the story of "The Princess and the Pea."

Only...I'm not a princess and my "pea" was a Crayola crayon left behind by my daughters who spent the entire evening playing atop the plush, pillow-topped mini-mountain.

Unlike the Princess, however, I had a great night's sleep.

I took the girls to lunch at Subway on Monday and we stopped into Big Lots to pick up some candy conversation hearts. (yeah, yeah, I know I vowed last week never to take two kids to a store again, but...I was jonesing for candy hearts).

Outside the store, I warned them that they had to stay with me and I wasn't buying anything buy candy hearts.

But, of course, they found some Easter items they couldn't live without. Lauren wanted some bunny-shaped fillable plastic eggs, Kelly wanted some egg-shaped bath soap. Each item was only a $1, and normally I'd have bought it just to quiet them.

But, I've been realizing how silly that is. Rarely do they play with the items once they have them, and, worse, every time we go to a store, they expect me to buy them something.

So, I held my ground. "No, I said no toys. We just came to get candy. Let's go."

Wailing, whining and major dawdling ensued.

I paid for the candy and we left.

Two steps outside the door I realized Kelly was looking at me funny. She turned her hand over and there, in her hand, was the soap I told her she couldn't have. She'd taken it. And, she knew it was wrong.

I did what any mommy would do and marched her right back in the store to hand that egg back over to employee behind the counter. I made her apologize. I made sure she understood what she did was wrong. And, when her Dad got home, I made her tell him what she did.

I don't think she'll do that again anytime soon -- and neither will her little sister who was there to witness the whole scene.