It's official -- I am a complete culinary idiot. I cannot even hard boil eggs.

I tried to hard boil a dozen eggs last night so we could color them with the kids tonight. I dug out my red plaid Betty Crocker cookbook and set my eggs in a saucepot of cold water. Turned the heat on high so that they would come to a rapid boil.

It was, of course, not rapid enough for me, so I ran into the living room to do something and got distracted.

By the time I made it back into the kitchen, three of the eggs had cracked open and were floating.

This is why I don't cook. I have zero patience for it. And, apparently, zero talent for it either.

Didn't stop my from sending back the postcard I recieved in the mail yesterday to subscribe to Martha Stewart's Living Magazine. They got me because they're offering a good price $15 for the year), a free tote bag (I love tote bags like some women love shoes) and a great magazine (I am a bona fide magazine junky).

Maybe Martha can teach me to boil water -- or inspire me to want to learn cook a dinner somewhere other than the toaster oven or microwave.