I've been up since 4:30 a.m. when I woke up with a start, suddenly alarmed that I never taught Kelly to tie her shoes. This is a problem because she starts Kindergarten in 10 days. Who will tie her new sneakers on gym day? Will the other kids laugh at her because she can't tie her shoes? How could I have failed to remember that I need to teach my kid to tie her shoes? Can I teach her in 10 days?

When it comes to parenting, it's the little things that trip me up -- things that never occur to me until they become a problem. Like teaching them to put on their own coats, cutting up their own hot dog and washing their own hair. It's just easier for me to do it and I never think about the fact that these are things I should be teaching them to do for themselves.

Why these things occur to me at 4:30 a.m. on the only day of the week I can "sleep in" until 6 a.m., I don't know.

It wasn't just the shoes, though. It's everything that comes with this major life change. Kelly's going to Kindergarten will cause lots of shifting in our family's life/work schedule.

For starters, my 10-hour Tuesday through Friday schedule is coming to an end. In order to get Kelly on the bus every morning, I'm going to have to go back to the office 5 days a week, starting later in the morning.

My husband has committed to being home three days a week to get Kelly off the bus. This is a major commitment on his part as he works on job sites and he never knows where he'll be working or which jobs will require him to stay late. Doesn't matter, now -- he stepped up and committed to being here so regardless of which contractors are screaming at who, he's leaving the site in time to get our kid off the bus.

I had it all worked out that Kelly would ride the bus home to the babysitter's house the other two days a week, but on Friday I got a letter from the school district saying that Kelly would be dropped off at our house 5 days a week. I had sent them two letters explaining what I needed to do, but I had heard from other parents that they would likely not agree to it.

I know that the school frowns on a child being taking to a different home on different days, but really, what choice do I have? They don't think she can be counted on to remember what bus to get on each day, and, I'll admit, they may have a point because, well, she IS young (heck she can't even tie her shoes let alone remember which day is Tuesday and where she goes on that day).

So, now I have this to worry about -- in addition to everything else. Where do I send her? What do I do? Can I fix my work schedule to be able to get her on the bus 5 days -- and off it 2 days. Actually, believe it or not, I think I can. Now I've just got to pitch the possible new schedule to the boss and see if it will work for her.

The question is..will it work for me? It means giving up lunches and lunchtime walks every single day. It means making the most of every minute I'm at work. It means less chatting in the halls and less workplace-volunteer duties that take time away from my work day. It means giving up my after-work workouts at the downtown YMCA. It means making up time on weeks we have a day off. It means enduring the sideways glances from co-workers who see me leaving at 3:45 twice a week and think "it must be nice."

Then, it occured to me that my new 5-day schedule means I will never take my younger daughter to preschool again (grandma will be taking her) and I'm sad because I will miss out on talking with the teachers, meeting her classmates and chatting up the other moms.

I realize that being a mom means sacrifice. But, how do you ever know which are the right sacrifices to make? And, how do I not sacrifice everything I enjoy so I can get my kid on and off the bus?

And everyone wonders why working moms are so mad. We're frustrated and scared we're not doing the right thing. And, we're tired because we lay awake all night trying to figure it all out and determine who -- or what -- in our lives is going to be left holding the short end of the stick.

All too often, it's us.