So paradise is not what it's cracked up to be down south, eh?

Hot is it?

Dry is it?

National emergency?

As my high school graphics teacher, Mr. Woodle, was fond of saying, "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

Nope, sorry sunshine lovers, I do not feel sorry for you.

Move where the water is.

Water makes up, what...90 percent of our body. Newsflash (since the perpetual sunshine seems to have baked your brains): You need water to live.

Quit building your million-dollar mansions in places that HAVE NO WATER.

It's not rocket science, folks.