I often run into people who hear my last name and say "Cass, eh? Are you related to...." Unless one of the people they mention is a close cousin or relative of my husbands, I usually say "More than likely. There are a ton of Cass' and I can't keep them all straight."

My husband's father's family were farmers -- dairy, mostly. His Uncle George (Dan's grandfather's brother) still farms dairy cows in Harborcreek. As you know, farming families of yore tended to have lots of children (to help out at the farm, of course). Dan's father is from a family of 10 or 12 -- all but a couple of them were boys and most of them are still living and they've all had kids who've had kids and ...well you can see why East county is rife with Cass'.

...I think I am really messing up this whole parenting gig. Not a day goes by when I don't question what I've done or regretted something I said or wished I had done something differently.

I used to be so confident. I used to be so sure of myself. I used to be in control.

Now, my days are filled with self-doubt, anxiety about the choices I'm made and endless waffling and regret.

There is nothing easy about being a parent -- and I'm sure there's nothing easy about being a kid. My job, I know, is to be the calm in storm, but sometimes I just feel like a ship on choppy waters -- being tossed around by the emotions of a couple of little girls.

I know, I know....God help me when the waters really get choppy in a few years.

As I stood at the end of the driveway waiting for the bus with Kelly this morning -- feeling bad for having yelled at her for not getting dressed, not eating her cereal fast enough, for leaving the lights on upstairs, for losing her library book, for spitting toothpaste all over the counter and for whining all morning -- I remembered how I used to think mornings were stressful when the girls were babies and I had to get them dressed and get the diaper bags ready.

What a joke.

What was so hard about that? I'd scoop up my crib-warm babies, snuggle them, change a diaper, wrap them in snowsuits and carry them out the door. All the while, they'd smile at me, coo, giggle and laugh.

Do you suppose some day I'll look back on this time -- when they can still fit in my lap, when they spontaneously say "I love you, Mommy," when I choose their clothes, when they draw me pictures and pick me flowers and beg me to play games with them and read them "just one more" story -- and think, what was so hard about that?

Quintessential Erie-area fall fun. Can't you just smell the leaves?

36 years I've lived in this city and I will never, ever get used to the overnight season changes. Here's the view from my upstairs office window right now:

10 years I have lived south of I-90 -- in the "snow belt" -- and today is the first time I have ever not made it to work because of the weather. The roads are simply horrendous here and I have YET to see a snowplow come down my road -- and it's noon. Kelly's bus got stuck this A.M. so she was picked up about 90 minutes late.

I took two trips down the road sideways and spun out twice (and I have four-wheel drive) before I decided that getting to work was not worth my life (and my kid's life). Luckily, my job is of the nature that I can do 80% of it at home -- thanks to technology that allows my co-worker to e-mail me all the files I need.

Wasn't it just fall yesterday?

In yesterday's entry I said,

Luckily, my job is of the nature that I can do 80% of it at home -- thanks to technology that allows my co-worker to e-mail me all the files I need.

Until the power goes out.

And, it did -- before noon yesterday and it has yet to come back on.

Fortunately, we learned our lesson in the March '06 storm that put us in the dark for three whole days and we bought a generator. It was not easy for us to fork over $650 for that thing, but when you live where we do and your power is out as often as our is -- you learn that a generator is nothing short of an investment.

Yesterday, that noisy sucker finally paid off. Soon as the hubby got home & hooked it up, we were able to operate the furnaces (one at a time), the fridge, the oven, the water pump (ah...the joy of a flushing toilet). We were able to make dinner, give the kids baths and go on with our normal nightly routine (albeit gathered in one room since we couldn't turn too much on or we'd overwhelm the generator).

Used to be when the power went out, we'd sit in our house, shivering and staring with envy at the all the neighbors' houses that had generators rumbling outside and lights on inside. "Oh, my God, Dan...I think their watching TV over there!"

Now, we're among the fortunate ones and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I've been trying to live a more grateful life, so every morning I've been making it a point to wake up and think of three things I am thankful for.

This morning's top three? Gasoline, generators and my master electrician husband who can get the lights on even when Penelec can't.

Talk is swirling that John Cusack's role in "Grace is Gone" -- to be released Dec. 7 -- could be the breakout performance that leads to his first Oscar nomination. Certainly, he's not exactly a "hottie" in this role, but it looks to be a great (albeit weepy..bring your tissues!) movie.

Check out this trailer.

He has another movie opening this weekend -- Martian Child. It hasn't gotten great reviews. But, I don't care, I'll still fork over cash to see him (yup, I won't even wait for it to come to the dollar theater). But, then, I'd pay $10 to watch him paint a house, or do laundry or whatever, so....

here is that the numbers weren't higher. This is one of those "no shit" polls, like....let's spend $32,000 in research money to find out what people really think about Hitler.

I'm loving this week:
1. Mike Tomlin & the boys in Black & Gold. (Though, I'm disturbed to find that coach is actually 6 months younger than me).

2. The Park Tavern -- for providing a smoke-free environment to watch football, drink beer and torment local Browns fans (again and again and again).

3. Kid Rock's newest CD -- Rock N Roll Jesus -- which is, in my personal opinion, some of his best work. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right Kid? Take that, Pam, you overinflated, overrated, underdressed "star." The best song? It's a toss-up between "All Summer Long" and "Roll on."

Things I'm hating this week:
1. Draft Labatt's -- Seriously, I know better. I've been burned by this beer before. Good thing I had Monday off.

2. Christmas shoppers -- All I wanted at Target were a few boxes of cheese crackers and granola bars for my daughters' snack days -- and there I was stuck behind people with carts and carts full of Christmas gifts. (But, then, maybe I'm just jealous because I can no longer plan beyond the next day or two ... let alone a month from now ... which would explain why I was standing at Target with a hangover and an armload of snacks yesterday afternoon).

3. Tights, which are oh, so appropriately named. I am a 5 foot 2 inch woman who wears a size 8, but I buy QUEEN size tights because I cannot stand to spend the day in bound up in a corset like a piece of sausage. To hell with skirts until spring.

I caught up on some reading this weekend and saw a cool tip in one of my parenting magazines (I think it was parenting...God only knows...I subscribe to far too many magazines).

You can use Kodak's EasyShare software to transform your favorite photos into coloring-book pages, then upload them to Kodakgallery.com. They'll send you a custom coloring book full of family snapshots.

You can read more about it -- and download the free software -- here (you'll have to scroll down a bit to see it).

How fun is that?

Wouldn't the kids in your life get a kick out of coloring themselves?

(Actually...if you have a working knowledge of PhotoShop you can probably do the same thing with the tools in that program and print them out yourself).

Society teaches girls (women) to hide what are considered "bad" traits for our gender. We're taught to be polite and kind and considerate and sweet -- to apologize for everything (and I mean, everything). Less desirable traits are to be hidden below the surface -- especially any traits that make make us appear less womanly.

Like being bossy...or competitive...both things I've been called lately. And, despite my adamant refusal to accept the titles -- I know I own them.

From my "Wild Words from Wild Women" calendar:

"We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves."
-- Mary Lamberton Becker, highly evolved editor

Amen to becoming our authentic selves (even if our authentic selves are competitive and bossy). Amen, sister.

This is pretty cool: Claytopia -- Erie's only paint-your-own-pottery place is offering a twist on the traditional holiday party

Bring your group of more than 10 and each person can choose a mug, pencil holder or salad plate for just $10 per person. (all materials, glazing and firing are included). The best part -- you can bring your own food and drinks (or have it catered).

How fun would that be? Much better than dinner at some stuffy restaurant!

I painted a plate last week at Claytopia for Thanksgiving using the girls' hands to make two turkeys. I can't wait to see how it turned out!

Ever surf on line and find something you really love at a local store. Then, you go there -- thinking you'll save yourself the shipping costs -- & they don't have it in stock at that store? I know it's happened to me a few times.

Well, it need not happen anymore at JCPenney. They're offering a cool new online features allowing you to see if the store you shop at has the item in stock before you go!

All you have to do is go to their Web site, select any item tagged "Also in Stores" or "In Stores Only." Enter the size and color you want. Enter your zip code and voila! -- you see a list of nearby stores and if they have the item you want in stock.

There was an interesting editorial in the Erie Times-News today by Kathleen Parker about Hillary Clinton. Now, far be it for me to agree with a conservative columnist, but...on this topic...the woman speaks the truth.

The gist of the editorial is that by American women will not tolerate people attacking Hillary on a personal level. Say what you want about her credentials, call her out on her voting record, criticize her policies, but when you start commenting on her appearance and scrutinizing her haircut and judging how she handled her marriage -- you are in dangerous waters.

" But let men criticize Clinton personally and a funny thing happens. Contaminating the air is a slight whiff of misogyny that women recognize and recoil against. When men speak derogatorily about Clinton's looks, all women feel a little bit wounded. What woman can withstand such scrutiny, after all?"

Here's the turkey plate we made at Claytopia last week:

Meet Butterscotch the guinea pig -- the newest member of the Cass Clan.

My Kindergartener is learning how to write and is forever asking us how to spell things. We typically have lots of patience about it and even try to make her figure it out by sounding it out, but there are times -- like when I'm trying to make dinner (ha..that's kinda funny...OK, when I'm trying open the can of Spagehetti-O's) and the cat wants out and the phone rings and the four-year-old starts crying about something -- well, I just don't have time for it.

I feel guilty, of course. She wants to learn & I want to help her, but somebody's got to get the Spaghetti-Os on the table.

Saturday it occurred to me that what I needed was a kid's picture dictionary so she can see the item and see how to spell it. So, I'm adding that to her Christmas List, but, in the meantime, I rounded up all the baby "first word" books that were still floating around the house and realized that they work just as well.

Three things I'm loving this week:

1. Kraft fat-free ceasar Italian dressing. After Dollar General discontinued my ultra-cheap, all-time-fav fat-free ranch dressing, I suffered for weeks trying all kinds of disgusting dressings on my daily lunchtime salad. When I opened the Caesar Italian, I swear I heard a chorus of angels singing "Halleluia." It's my new reason to look forward to lunch (well, that and cyber shoe shopping).

2. The weather forecast. Snow, snow go away...don't come back any day. No, I'm not dreaming of white Christmas, but I am dreaming of a decent Turkey Trot race on Thursday. Running in 50+ degree weather is just about as good as it gets -- not too hot, not too cold. I am truly enjoying our November reprieve.

3. Rules of Engagement. When I can stay awake long enough to see it, this show cracks me up. It's on CBS on Mondays at 9:30 p.m. Jeff is, by far, the funniest character on the show. And, Russel (David Spade's character) is hysterical, too. I love any show that makes me LOL -- and this one does, every week. My favorite episode? By far, "Bag Ladies" when Jennifer gave Adam a "man purse" -- I laughed so hard I counted it as an abs workout.

Three things I'm hating this week:

1. Thanksgiving. Any holiday that centers around stuffing stale bread up a dead bird's ass and then serving it to people who eat so much of it they must unbutton their pants and fall fast asleep on the couch to allow their body to digest it...well, let's just say, it's not my thing. I hate to cook, I hate to overeat, I hate the gluttony of the holiday and frankly, I don't really like parades or those idiotic cartoon character balloons that require 45 people in matching clothes to drag them down the street. So, there you have it. I'm a Thanksgiving grinch.

2. Black Friday shopping. I despise it, but I'm going. Why? because...as my sister says, "It's tradition." Far be it for me to destroy a female family tradition of sticking the men with the kids and spending hours elbowing other shoppers and swearing at all the morons on the road. To be honest, I'm in it for the free lunch (and really, mostly for the free lunch drinks) . See my mom buys me and my sister and sister-in-laws lunch at Ruby Tuesdays when we go on our annual Black Friday shopping trip and when Mom's buying, I get the fancy frozen drinks my cheap ass would normally never dream of ordering.

3. My 1999 GMC Jimmy. Which, just yesterday had the wheel bearing replaced for the 2nd time to the tune of ...well, I don't even know how much because MY HUSBAND DIDN'T EVEN ASK. I know from past experience it's more than $500 -- throw in some new brakes (which I am apparently very hard on since I'm always have them replaced, too) and we're probably looking at a high three-figure bill to get my car out of hock. Until then, I'm driving the husband's full-size, king-cab Chevy 1/2 ton. I have to sit on a flowered seat cushion to see out the windshield, but I have to admit I feel like a bad-ass when I'm driving the big rig (and I do kinda like that).

Honorable Mention: New York (yeah, I'm hating the whole damn state after last Sunday. Damn Jets. 'nuff said.

I've got plenty to blog about and not much time left to blog today. So, forgive the throw-up nature of this post:

* Thanksgiving: The Turkey Trot rocked. The rest of the day was, well ... several hours of my life I'll never get back. And, I'm leaving it there.

* I set a P.R. (personal record for those of you not versed in running jargo) on Black Friday. I shopped for 12 hours straight and I crossed 20+ people off my shopping list. And, I got some great deals, too. We didn't do the 5 a.m. thing, but I still got most of the bargain items I was looking for because the lines at Target were outrageous and people were dumping merchandise all over the store. I scavenged a whole cart full of great gifts just by wandering around the areas near the registers. The best part? By the time we were done shopping at the store at 10 a.m., there were no lines. I guess the early bird doesn't always get the worm, eh?

* Took the girls to see the Bee Movie on Saturday. It was cute...kept the girls entranced. I give it two thumbs up. And, yeah...I sprung for the expensive theater (but it was a matinee, of course).

In case you missed it, there was a blurb in the newspaper the other day about Letters to Santa.

"Employees of the U.S. Postal Service in Erie will again respond to letters sent to Santa Claus. Letters should be addressed to Santa Claus, Erie, PA 16515-9998. They should be stamped and include a clear, complete return address. All letters sent by Dec. 20 will be answered."

When I told Kelly she could send Santa a letter, she quickly got to work and could hardly wait to wake up and put it in the mailbox this morning.

Three things I'm loving this week:

1. Extended shopping hours. The best thing about December is that area stores are open practically 24/7 and those that are never open on Sunday (like Wild Birds Unlimited), suddenly are. I love being able to go to the mall at 9 p.m. on Sunday or having the option to shop until midnight on a Friday or 6 a.m. on Saturday. I'd link you to the Millcreek Mall's holiday store hours, but...their Web site doesn't appear to be updated.

2. Polar fleece. Where has this fabric been all my life. As someone who is perpetually cold, fleece makes winter bearable for me. When I'm not at work, or anywhere else I have to look presentable, I am covered in polar fleece. I want to be buried in my Old Navy fleece PJ pants (if only they weren't in such stupid colors and designs). I can't stop buying fleece pullovers, jackets, gloves, blankets, jammie pants, socks... I wear so much fleece that I stick -- like velcro -- to the flannel sheets on my bed. You know, what I probably need are some polar fleece sheets ... .

3. John Mellencamp. Thursday is the day -- the big concert at the Erie Civic Center. I have loved John Mellencamp, well...since he was John Cougar and I can't wait to see him right here in Erie. My husband and I saw him in Pittsburgh (at the Post Gazette Pavilion) a couple of years ago. He was touring with John Fogerty (who rocked), but...for some reason, John Mellencamp just wasn't into it that night. Even sitting (well, dancing) 42 rows away, I could tell he was pissed off. He only did one encore -- consisting of two songs, I think. Here's hoping he's in a better mood Thursday.

Three things I'm hating this week:

Check this out -- for 88 cents you can order your own personalized Wal-Mart gift card for all the special people on your list. When you pick up your card, you can load it up with whatever denomination you want to give.

'tis the season to humiliate our beloved pets. Just got this press release from the NW PA Humane Society...time to dig out the reindeer ears for the cat, tie a big red bow on the guinea pig and sew some jingle bells to the dog's collar.

Have your pet’s picture taken with Santa at the Humane Society of NWPA! Mom, Dad and the kids are welcome to join in the photo and the fun. All pets are welcome. Dogs, cats, ferrets, birds, reptiles & goats have all posed with Santa at this annual event. “Santa Paws” will be held Saturday, December 1, 2007, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., Sunday, December 2, 2007, from Noon to 4 p.m., Saturday, December 8, 2007, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. & Sunday, December 9, 2007, from Noon to 4 p.m. Photography provided by Ronald J. Stephens of La Mirage Studio Photography & Video Production.

The Basic Package includes the sitting with holiday background, 1- 5x7, 2- 4x6 & 8- wallet-size prints for $29.00. Additional photo packages & Christmas cards are available. For more information, please contact the Humane Society at 835-8331. All proceeds benefit The Humane Society of NWPA.

BTW -- the Humane Society has moved. They are no longer across from the Erie Zoo. They are at 2407 Zimmerly Road on the west side of Erie.

OK, so it's unlikely to be a wild night at the Mellencamp concert for me and my mommy friends (those days are behind us), but it will be a kid-free, beer-drinking, baby-bearing-hips-swingin' girls night out (even if we'll only drink two beers, wear sensible clothes that cover us completely and rush home post-concert to our babies).

I love Mellencamp because he rocks, but also because his lyrics have real meaning and contain wise advice for a life well-lived.

In honor of tonight's concert, here are my top 15 favorite lines/verses from Mellencamp songs that speak to me:

Want know how to get your kids to love rice cakes? Dip 'em in chocolate. Check these out!

I'm going to make these for my Kindergartener's class holiday party. (Thanks to my culinary-inclined designer, Holly W., for finding these at Pillsbury -- a Web site she swears by).

I get about 387 press releases a day this time of year -- I rarely read them, but this one made me laugh out loud.

If all press releases were this funny, more editors might actually read them.

The subject line of the e-mail was "Story idea: Gift for your Least Favorite Nephew"

Dear Heather,

The holiday season reunites us all with close and beloved family members— we sit by the fire and roast chestnuts, eat way too much food and for the most part, enjoy being around one another. But as you know, everyone has a family member that isn’t so dearly loved.