I happened to catch a Dr. Wayne Dyer lecture on PBS a few weeks ago in which he was encouraging his audience to live the wisdom of the Tao.
Much of what he was teaching resonated strongly with me and reinforced the new calmer, more peaceful, less materialistic outlook on life that I've been moving toward in the last year.
I'm not sure I can explain this new path I've gone down because I don't even understand it myself -- and perhaps it's just maturity -- but I've found a more peaceful life by choosing to be more peaceful and kind and compassionate and far less materialistic.
I refuse to get upset about crap that just doesn't matter. And, in the grand scheme of things, there isn't a lot that really matters.
All this stuff we get so upset about -- all this stuff we work hours and hours to obtain -- it's all just window-dressing. You can't take it with you. You never see a U-Haul attached to a hearse.
You are not your stuff.
So, when you realize that most "stuff" means squat -- you stop trying so hard to get it and that leaves space in your life for those things that really do matter -- like other people.
It used to be that if you pulled out in front of me, I would get mad, yell at you, probably flip you off and most definitely ride your bumper. Now I wave. Now I am the nice person (or jerk, depending on how peaceful a life you're choosing to live) on Peach Street who lets people in by the I-90 exit ramp even though they zoomed up the turning lane and didn't wait their turn like everyone else.
I used to get all irritated and sigh heavily as the person in front of me in the checkout lane dug around in their purse for the right change or took forever writing a check. Now, I just calm down, realize that getting upset will get me nowhere and use the time to wander off in my mind and think about what I need to get done that day or what I should blog about on Monday.
I'm not sure how I got here, but I love this calmer, happier life.
I guess I just realized that I can have the happy life I've always wanted. If I choose to. I decided to stop struggling to change people and to stop chasing perfection myself (because that's an exercise in futility). I can accept people and things and situations for what they are -- nothing more and nothing less.
I can see beauty in every single person -- genuine beauty -- even in the jerk who wants to cut into the turning lane at the last minute, the woman with 16 items in the express line, or a co-worker who bites my head off.
The old me -- the impatient, intolerant, opinionated, easily-irritated Heather -- still rears her ugly head (and embarrasses me) sometimes. But, for the most part, I now choose a different path.
If you want to find the path to a more serene, happy life, I'd highly recommend Dr. Dyers book "Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao."
It's big and thick, but it's meant to be read slowly...over a period of months. You're instructed to read just a few pages at a time...then think about them and spend a day (or two... or a week or two...whatever you need) working on living the Tao.
Comments (1)
This may be a long one... Anyway, before I knew you... (I still barely know you... but even before that... like when you were just starting to come to POP) one of the women in the choir was talking about you being the editor of "Her Times" so I went home that night and madly ripped thru the paper in an attempt to find it... I was sucessful! Anyway, I read thru it (I rarely read anything news paper related, so this was a big deal for me) and towards the end of that issue, I came across a blurb where you talked about being comfortable with yourself and realizing that you choose to be happy, and being nice to the sales clerk because you don't know why they're in the mood that they're in... etc. etc. etc. and anyway, I really liked what you had to say, so I clipped it, and I have a zippper binder that contains my random stories, poems, cards, pictures, quotes, basically my book of emotions lol... So anyway, your little editors note is in there under admirable philosophies... but yeah, I just thought I'd tell you that... I don't know why... Just felt the need to, I guess. But anyway, you seem to be a pretty strong person, and I think that's really awesome so I give you credit for that because that takes hard work... So, I thought I'd commend you on your strenght... And I know I may just be a 17 year old kid who's addicted to the internet and technology in general, but I really do like what you have to say and above all, I appreciate your ability to use the power of words to help people, because language is impacting... and here you are online writing about life - and sure, it has it's ups and downs, but your emphasis on the good rises above all else. Anyway, this is getting a little too deep for Michelley here... I will close with this...
You mentioned in an earlier blog about how you don't have any artistic talent, and you wish that you did... Well, the ability to find the genuine beauty in every situation and every person - that's artistic talent... RUN with it!
God bless you, I know He already has!
Peace!
Posted by Michelle F. | February 8, 2008 11:31 PM
Posted on February 8, 2008 23:31