A co-worker reminded me of one of the funniest stories he ever heard me tell, so I thought I'd share and you can all enjoy a good laugh at Heather (though...this is much funnier in person when I can include eye emphasis and other gestures).

We were moving out of our starter home...oh...about 10 or 12 years ago now... and i noticed that one of the tiles was coming loose in the upstairs bathroom. No problem. I run downstairs to grab the tube of super glue. Can't get the top off. (why does the top NEVER come off...well, probably cause it's...duh...glued on).

Mistake #1: I stick the tube lid in my mouth and twist hard.

You guessed it...I get a mouthful of super glue.

Mistake #2: I grab the nearest thing to get the glue off my tongue -- toilet paper. Which, of course, promptly disintegrates on my wet tongue and wet pile-o-glue.

Mistake #3: I'm still holding the tile I was planning to glue which is now stuck to the hand I used to try and scrape the glue off my tongue.

Mistake #4: I spit the contents of my mouth into the bathroom sink. Now I have a sink full of glue and toilet paper and a final "walk-through" by our buyers in an hour.

I managed to scrape it out of the sink bowl, got the tile off my fingers (with a few layers of skin, too) and got most of the super glue/Charmin taste out of my mouth before the doorbell rang.

And, I haven't touched super glue since.

P.S. Remind me to tell you about the time, later that same month when I locked myself out of my new house in a t-shirt and undies at 6 a.m. as the garbage truck came rumbling down the road.