My 5-year-old daughter is hysterical...and she doesn't even know it. She gets angry with my husband and I when we laugh at her.

In fact, when we laugh at her, she calls us "bullies"...which makes us laugh even louder. (Apparently, they have some big anti-bully initiative at school and laughing is on the list of naughty behaviors).

This morning, her older sister, 7, was whining about something and she said, in her little squeaky voice with all her kindergarten wisdom, "Kelly, you're just gonna have to suck it up."

Last week we were all in car, I was asking them about their day at school. Kelly gave me the full school drama report -- going on at length about who was doing what and what happened at recess and yatta, yatta, yatta. I asked Lauren what she did at school that day. She said -- completely seriously -- "I have no idea." Well...hey, the past is the past and at least she's honest.

Driving home from the sitter's house Lauren was bugging my husband for a pencil. He wouldn't give her one because he never gets them back (somewhere...deep in the recesses of that king cab are enough writing utensils for the entire Kindergarten population of Erie county, I swear). He told her he couldn't give her the pencil because he needed it for work and if he didn't have his pencil he couldn't do his job and he might get fired and we wouldn't have any money (which, admittedly, is a little dramatic...hmmm...I'm starting to see where Kelly gets that trait from).

Lauren said, "Why do you need money anyway? You got tons of stuff. You got a big house. You got clothes. You got a truck. You got beer. You got your woman." So, there you have it...all a man needs to be happy...summed up by a 5-year-old.

What funny stuff has your kid said or done lately (or a long time ago)? Post a comment below.