... if you do, you'll need to email me directly because you will find it nearly impossible to "comment" on our "new and improved" blogging software.

Seriously... posting a comment to is like trying to solve the Da Vinci code now. So, anytime you have anything to say about anything I type...email me at heather.cass@timesnews.com and I'll be happy to jump through the fourteen steps to post your comments for you.

Yeah, I'm irritated.

I'm starting to hate holidays. Seriously.

I might like them if I could do something I enjoy. But, instead I get to spend them with family.

Not my little family (as in kids and husband)...no, that might be enjoyable.

I have to spend them with THE FAMILY and, frankly, I'd rather just work.

Let's just say that yesterday was less than enjoyable.

Husband and I are not speaking now. He thinks I'm being a bitch. I think he's a jerk. This is how marriage goes, I know. Ups and downs. I'm pretty angry that he's not talking to me because...I am not talking to HIM.

And, now I realize we are both acting like 7-year-olds.

But, family will do that to you -- reduce you back down to the child you once were, bring out all your insecurities and make you want to run for the hills.

Apparently, I've been living under a rock (or, more likely, I've just ignored all the Mattel recall hub-bub figuring it was alarmist, well...hub-bub), but a friend sent me a link to this site and I realized that there are many of these toys residing as Cassa Cass -- including the Barbie with the dog that poops (though...most of the "poop" is now in my vacuum cleaner bag), the Silly Elmo, Dora figures and a couple of the big Polly Pocket playsets.

So, now I have one more thing to do -- wade through this list of toys and then try and locate all the toys and figure out what to do with them and blah, blah, blah.

How exhausting and irritating.

All I can hope is that it is precisely this kind of shoddy work that will bring work back to the United States were we do things the right way.

Hello Mattel -- I'm talking to you. How much is your cheap foreign labor costing you now? Good luck repairing your image with millions in advertising after you spend millions replace all those toys.

If I were a salesperson, my family would starve to death. I don't like asking people for anything, especially money. It makes me uncomfortable, and I just refuse to do it.

For example, at the recent CROP walk, I signed up to walk on my church's team. On the day of the event, they asked if I brought my pledges. "Uh, no, but I brought my checkbook -- how's $50?"

Monica Lewis (who also writes for Her Times magazine) had a humorous column about fundraising in the newspaper yesterday.

As the mother of a Kindergartner who just came home with her first candle order form and sales sheet, I could relate to Monica's disdain for school fundraisers. I groaned when I saw that fundraising form in my 6-year-old's backpack. I knew I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it.

God knows my friends, family and co-workers owe me. I've bought more than my share of overpriced stuff from all the kids in the neighborhood and all my nieces and nephews and the kids of friends at work because, well, because I feel like I have to and/or should. If I had all the money I've spent on overpriced, stale chocolate-covered pretzels, chinzy giftwrap and plastic knick-knacks, I could take the whole Erie School District to Splash Lagoon.

So, now it's my turn to do the selling, and I just don't have it in me. Much as I hate to take money out of the weekly family budget, I hate asking people for money more. I'll happily buy generic crackers and sacrifice a dinner out if it means I don't have to strong-arm people into buying something they really don't want.

If, when my kids get older, they want to peddle their own merchandise and handle the money -- fine -- but for now, I'll just write the PTO a check and buy my way out of begging.

So paradise is not what it's cracked up to be down south, eh?

Hot is it?

Dry is it?

National emergency?

As my high school graphics teacher, Mr. Woodle, was fond of saying, "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

Nope, sorry sunshine lovers, I do not feel sorry for you.

Move where the water is.

Water makes up, what...90 percent of our body. Newsflash (since the perpetual sunshine seems to have baked your brains): You need water to live.

Quit building your million-dollar mansions in places that HAVE NO WATER.

It's not rocket science, folks.

here is that the numbers weren't higher. This is one of those "no shit" polls, like....let's spend $32,000 in research money to find out what people really think about Hitler.

Got my annual holiday gift from the YMCA -- ANOTHER rate increase. Merry Christmas.

This despite the fact that I now must pay $30 per session (8 weeks usually) for my two kids to go to swim class -- which was the ONLY class they can attend since all of the others classes are held DURING THE DAY when parents work.

So, now they're asking me to pay $60 a month for a family membership...which neither my husband nor I use -- that's $720 a year -- plus an ADDITIONAL $30 PER SESSION for swim classes which amounts to another $200 a year.

$1,000. Mighty expensive swim classes, eh?

Meanwhile, they brag about opening a brand new child care facility on Poplar Street. Again, I ask...WHAT IS YOUR MISSION, YMCA? Is it child care or is it health & wellness?

... Cause it sure as hell isn't serving your members -- you know...the ones who actually have the money to PAY for the memberships.

I write them letters complaining. I have never once -- not once...gotten any sort of response from them.

I am angry and yet, I want my kids to lead a healthy lifestyle.

What's a mother to do?

Well, this mother is going to look into some other gyms -- Pennbriar is an exit away and they have swim classes for kids and, at this point, I'm so pissed at the Y that I'm willing to pay more money to join another gym out of spite.

The husband and I were at a wedding reception on Friday evening. One of the couples at the table asked how long another couple had been married. Soon we were going around the table, each of the couples saying how many years they'd been married.

I tried to do the math in my head quickly, but, alas, when they got to Dan & I, we just sort of looked at each other and said..."uh..I don't know...what? 12 years now? Or is it 13? Oh...God, I don't know...we've been married forever now."

And, yet...the man is sometimes as clueless as the day I married him.

Three things I'm loving this week:

1. Cranium’s Balloon Lagoon. You know those carnival midway games that your kids are always begging to play? Like the fishing game that costs $2 because every kid is a winner (of a poorly-made, teeny stuffed animal that probably cost 12 cents to make). Well, now you can let them play until their heart's content with this 4-in-1 game that also happens to be sort of educational, too. A friend gave this game to my daughters for Christmas.They opened it Saturday and have been playing it every day since.

2. Yak tracks. If I’d have known how great these things were, I’d have just bought them for myself about, oh, 10 years ago when I first started running. Or, at least 8 years ago when I moved south of I-90 where the footing is always bad. To be honest, they looked kinda scary and uncomfortable (all that coiled up metal). It only took one little 5-mile run on Christmas day in icy conditions to show me the error of my ways. Let this be a lesson:Never judge a yak until you've run in his tracks.

3. The Borders Rewards card. This is one "rewards" club you want to give your e-mail address to. Why? Because they mail you great offers and discount coupons. I used a 30% off coupon that they e-mailed to me to buy the Jerome Bettis book and got an additional 10% off for using my Rewards card, which meant that I got a $26 book for about $15. Now, I will say that the frequency of e-mails got a little ridiculous before the holidays -- I think I got a Borders e-mail every day, but you can't fault them for trying.

I was working on my laptop on the couch last night and the husband had the TV on. He apparently couldn't find Law & Order or CSI and ended up landing on "Wife Swap."

On this show, two wives (usually mothers, I think) swap households to see how the other lives. Fine. Sounds good in theory and would probably be a pretty cool experiment in reality. But, of course, the producers search the country over to find the most over-the-top mothers around and then deliberately swap complete opposites (so the ultra-strict mom goes to the home of the free-spirited mom).

..was a day in PC hell.

I picked up my brand-spanking, swanky, sleek new PC and from the time I got stumped at step No. 2 (out of a grand total of 4 steps) in putting together my new flat-screen monitor, I knew I was in trouble.

I'm no computer idiot (despite the password our I.T. dept. gave me...verrrry funnny, guys) and I had no trouble hooking up my previous PCs and surfing the 'net an hour later. Not so with this one -- mostly because I think I am the last idiot on earth who still subscribes to (and, yes, pays for) AOL (and it's dial-up, at that). Up until last week, I was even paying top dollar for it -- $24 a month. I realized however, that they had lower levels and I called & had it changed to $12 a month.

The reason I hang onto AOL is because I share it with my parents and getting them online themselves would be waaaaayyyyy more work than just forking over the $12 a month. And...frankly, I don't use the internet at home all that much, so dial up didn't bother me.

Now, however, I cannot...for the life of me...get onto AOL without first subscribing to one of the providers that Microsoft wants me to subscribe to (NetZero, Juno, etc.) or biting the bullet and just ordering high-speed internet from Time-Warner or Verizon.

I tried getting one of those free AOL discs that you used to find everywhere...now...they are nowhere to be found. I called AOL...they couldn't help me get on without sending me a disc and that's going to take 15 days. Excuse me? FIFTEEN days. Hello? I'm a sap still paying for your service...better hang onto me -- I'd overnight that sucker if I were you. But, of course, the guy I was talking to barely spoke English so there was no point trying to explain customer service policies.

I decided I'd had enough of AOL and I called Time Warner (Verizon doesn't serve my area) and ordered high speed access.

The funny part...they can't come to install it for 15 days.

:-)