This might be a rather morbid confession, but I find that I'm enjoying reading the obituaries in the Erie Times-News almost as much as any other section in the newspaper. Practically every story tells something interesting about the subject of the obit.

Until only a few years ago, newspaper reporters compiled obituaries from information provided by the funeral home. It was a system that worked well for decades, but in recent years, many readers felt compelled to say something special -- something personal -- about the deceased. They also wanted to carry information about special friends, pets and other stuff that we didn't do.

When the obits were news stories, they were, by design, quite formulaic. Paid death notices could carry the names of the deceased person's grandchildren, for example, but, for the sake of brevity, such names were left out of the regular obit.

Eventually, the newspaper decided to dump its death notices in favor of paid obituaries. At first, I had concerns about the new policy, but now I think it was a wonderful idea. That's because readers can write whatever they want -- as long as it's in good taste, of course -- about the dearly departed.

Regular obit readers will observe, for instance, that fewer people just "die" these days. Actually, more people than ever are passing away, but in the obits, they "pass over the great divide into heaven," "enter into the promised land," etc., etc. I'll bet such euphemisms for death are comforting to the families, and perhaps the deceased would even approve. I plan to mention to my family, however, that should such a line ever appear in my own obituary, I will haunt them forever.

The solution is simple: if you want control over what appears in the paper, write your own obituary. That used to be standard procedure on many newspapers when a new reporter was hired. The editor would order them to compile their own obit. I imagine that such a directive today might result in a workplace lawsuit, so it's one of those customs that faded away.

One of the best obituaries I've seen in recent years was compiled by the family of an Erie woman named Dorothy Jackson. I didn't know Mrs. Jackson, but, clearly, she was beloved by her children. They wrote about the famous family dinners she would host, and even included a recipe for Dorothy's signature dish, which they called "Meat." The obituary was so moving that I kept a copy of it pinned to the wall of my cubicle for months.

My father suffered with cancer for a long time before he died in 1971. A veteran newspaperman, he wrote a final "column" that he asked to be published after he was gone. The editors heeded his request and, today, nearly 35 years after his death, hardly a month goes by that a reader fails to send me a copy of Dad's "last column." I'm always pleased to see one turn up in the mail, and I always stop to read it again. It's amazing how you always seem to spot something new in such a story, even though you've read it dozens of times before.

I imagine that it's hard to broach the subject of a person's obituary with them while they're still alive -- even more difficult to do it after they're gone! But I'll bet you might be surprised by what you learn. Plus, it would almost certainly lead to even better obituaries in the Erie Times-News.

-- Kevin Cuneo