Something I've learned about Erie Times-News coverage of the war in Iraq is that those of us who do not have a spouse or son or daughter fighting over there have virtually no idea how awful it must be. From all the war movies, we might have a general impression of how bad it must be for the soldiers, but what I'm learning is that it's absolutely no picnic for those back home, as well.

Several weeks ago, the wife of a soldier called to object to a Good Morning column in which the writer complained about camouflage clothing for children. About a minute into the conversation, the woman broke down and began sobbing about how horrible it is to be here at home, with her three young children, wondering what's happening to her husband. The stress, she said, was nearly overwhelming.

We ended up having a long conversation about the terrible feelings of isolation that soldiers and their families face.

In today's front-page package on the war, eight photos show various aspects of what's happening over there. One of the phootos -- a young soldier who bowed his head in prayer -- prompted a call from a 73-year-old woman, Pat Whitney, who thought she might be the soldier's mom.

"That's my son in the picture, but he's in Afghanistan, not Iraq, as the caption says," Whitney explained. It turned out the photo, which was taken in Fort Riley, Kansas, was not Whitney's son, Judah Whitney, but that of another soldier who was shipped to Iraq a month after Whitney headed to Afghanistan.

"If that's not my son, it's his double," Mrs. Whitney said. Unfortunately, photos of too many sons and daughters of Americans in or on their way to fight in the Middle East have been taken this way over the past four years. It's left people like Mrs. Whitney grasping for every shred of information about what's happening over there.

The soldiers' bravery is impressive, and so, too, is the fortitude shown by the families back home. Erie Times-News reporter Scott Waldman, who spent nearly a month embedded with the troops in Iraq last September, has come to know many of the families of local soldiers.

Waldman became their friend because he provided access to the soldiers -- something almost as precious as life itself. When you're waiting at home, worrying, a good word -- affirmation that everything is OK -- from half a world away means everything.

I was a young teenager during Vietnam, and can vividly recall the shabby treatment many military personnel received upon their arrival home from those who were opposed to the war. It was unfair, and it seems we've learned from that bitter experience.

Even if you're solidly against the war in Iraq, most people are not taking it out on the soldiers, who are over there, doing their best in what strikes many of us as an impossible situation.

On the fourth anniversary of the war, it seems an appropriate time to thank America's military personnel for doing their best.

-- Kevin Cuneo

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