After more than three decades with the Erie Times-News, I'm still at a loss to determine exactly what attracts readers to the newspaper. I like to think it's all that clever column writing or those well-crafted editorials, but every time you think you know what draws readers in, they'll throw you for a loop.

Earlier this week, for instance, upon arriving at my desk shortly after 8 a.m., editorial assistant Penny Joint came over to say, "I'm here to ruin your day; the daily horoscope is screwed up."

She was right about the second part -- the syndicated service that supplies the horoscope had accidentally lopped off two signs. And I did field more than a dozen calls from readers who said they love checking their daily horoscopes, and why am I trying to screw up their morning?

After reassuring the first three or four called that the day's horoscope was only messed up, and that the next day's would be fine, a thought struck me. "Why not provide the information over the phone that they missed in the newspaper?"

So, for about the last 10 callers, I read them the information they missed. It turned out to be an eye-opening experience for me. One elderly woman said she always reads her own horoscope first, and then she checks the horoscope for her deceased husband. "We always read it together, and it's still a connection I feel," she said.

Another reader told me she loves the horoscope because it's so "personal."

"I feel that it speaks to me," she said. "I know it's the same for everyone of my sign, but somehow it always seems to touch on things that are happening in my life."

Most callers said they enjoy reading the horoscope for fun, but when deprived of the experience, they felt as if they were missing an important ritual of their morning.

What distinguishes the daily horoscope from, say, a column written by Kevin Cuneo? "Well, these fortune tellers write a lot shorter than you do, that's for sure," a female reader in her 80s told me. "No offense, but sometimes I don't have the time or energy to spend on a long story."

No offense taken. In fact, listening to readers provided a good lesson for me. These are folks who know what they want, they're creatures of habit, and they don't appreciate it when somebody messes with their daily routines.

I promised that the employees here at the newspaper who retrieve the information, such as the daily horoscope, and put it into the paper, will be more careful next time.

It's not that I don't enjoy talking to readers -- I do. But it would be better if we all start out in a good place, and everybody's happy.

-- Kevin Cuneo

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