Last night I decided to upload the video from my niece’s graduation to my computer. As I was doing this, I came across some video I took of Autumn back in October. A little, chubby girl whose hair was just starting to truly fill the top of her head crawled across the screen. She crawled over to the coffee table, pulled herself up and babbled when I removed the pacifier from her mouth.
As I watched this, Autumn came running in to the room and watched, laughing each time Autumn on the computer screen babbled. Autumn watched the video so intently, amused at her younger self. It was fascinating to watch her watching herself and fascinating to see her crawl around during what seemed like a lifetime ago.
Amazing isn’t it, to see her just 9 months ago and think she’s a totally different person now? My coworker J said it’s like watching your child in another lifetime, but it’s all in the same body — just like someone is imitating their words and their actions.
All I could think was that Autumn was so big now. Her voice has changed. She says words. She walks, no — runs around. She gets an attitude when things don’t go her way. The baby on the screen was a little chub with rolls of fat in her forearms and thighs. She sat on the floor, rocking to the music on her toy. She crawled down the hall, her little butt wiggling from side to side as each knee moved forward. I just wanted to pick her up, wrap her in my arms and never let go.
So I bent down, picked up my little girl — the one who walks, talks and climbs up on the dining room chairs. I placed her in my lap and put my arms around her as she giggled and pointed at the baby on the screen. Then, as I will have to do increasingly more as she grows older, I let her down as she squirmed, looking for her independence.