My August issue of Child magazine arrived in the mail yesterday. In it, there's an article called "The More the Merrier," which talks about inviting friends and family into the delivery room. Apparently this is gaining in popularity to the point where one woman in the article had a room full of people who just popped in as she's getting ready to pop a child out.
In my third trimester, my midwife asked me who I wanted in the delivery room with me. She said I needed to decide before I started labor because I wouldn't be able to make a rational decision while I was in labor. She also told me to make sure I was comfortable having someone in there who would potentially see me fully exposed. Many women end up ditching their hospital gowns during delivery and give birth in various states of undress.
Right away, I ruled out my father and Keith's father.
But I thought it would be kind of neat for my mother to be there for the birth of her grandchild. Then I thought if my mother was there, we'd have to have Keith's mom there, too. We can't have one grandma and not the other. As I thought about this, Keith said he preferred it was just us. Nobody else to be there, to talk, to ask questions or to just sit and wait.
At the time, the thought of somebody else in the room didn't bother me much because (back when I thought I wanted to study medicine) my sister allowed me to be in the room when my nephew/godson was born. I just remembered how amazing that experience was for me to see him arrive in this world.
In retrospect, I'm glad Keith wanted it to be just us. I've had friends who've delivered and who have told me there were so many people -- doctors/midwife, nurses, family -- that it was crazy in their rooms. For me, I had Keith, my wonderful midwife, and a nurse. That's it.
I didn't have to be embarrassed about who was looking at my nether regions or who was seeing my bodily excretions. And when Autumn was born, they placed her on my stomach and Keith and I were able to just stare in awe at this new person we created without having to let anyone else in. We took all the time we wanted looking at her, meeting this little girl we'd felt kicking for the last few months.
That time was so special, but so short. I'm glad the option is there to have family in the delivery room, but I'm also glad that for us, it was a quiet affair.
Once I arrived in my hospital room, we welcomed our parents, my siblings, our friends and Keith's coworkers. I was happy to have anyone who wanted to visit pop in then. They made the days go faster and we were able to introduce them to the newest member of our family. To me, it was no less special to have them meet her in the room instead of the delivery room. It just meant that instead of one special moment, we had dozens.