For the last few years I've been keeping a list of places where I'd like to travel and have added places where Keith would like to go. For our first wedding anniversary we checked off Hawaii. Next month, for our third, we're going to check off New York City. We're heading there now because Keith, a huge baseball fan, wants to see a game at Yankee Stadium. He's been to Fenway, Wrigley, Tiger Stadium, Comerica Park, Three Rivers, PNC Park, Cleveland Municipal Stadium and Jacob's Field and probably more I can't think of. In a few short years, Yankee Stadium and all its history will be replaced by a nice, new park. So we're heading there before that happens.
Since neither of us has ever been to New York with its millions of people, confusing subway system, people, buildings and people, we didn't feel comfortable taking Autumn with us at this point. So for one whole week she's staying with my parents where she will be given all the love and attention in the world from Grandma and Papa and from the three of my siblings who live nearby.
Up until this point, I've been pretty excited. I've been focusing on the trip instead of the fact that I'll be leaving my little girl for a week. I haven't even left her for a weekend yet, just two individual nights (one of which was when she was just with Daddy).
Unfortunately, I'm a person whose mind can work overtime. The 9/11 attacks of five years ago make the words airplane and New York go together in a not-so-nice way. The supposed plots to wreak havoc on the subway system there don't help. I can't live my life by what might happen, because that wouldn't be much of a life. But I can do what I should do anyway as a responsible parent: I called the lawyer's office today to draw up a will.
I think the reason I haven't done this until now is the awful face-my-own-mortality of a will. Who wants to think about dying or orphaning their child? It's awful. But making sure everything is taken care of, just in case, is best for my child. So now I have to think about who will care for her if something happens to Keith and I. I have to think about our finances -- if we have enough life insurance to pay for necessary expenses or to take care of her in the event one or both of us dies. It's all rather morbid. And it's all rather necessary.
Maybe, after this is done, I can go back to focusing on the fun aspects of the vacation. Soon I'll be thinking about the songs we'll hear, the ballgame we'll see and the striking views of the skyline. And soon we'll see all of it then be back home, safe and sound, giving our little girl a hug and telling her how much we missed her. Soon.