I've been a very fortunate woman. Let me put this into context: A friend has to take her son to an ultrasound this morning by herself. Her husband works more than an hour away and can't make it in. Likewise, he wasn't able to be there for all those prenatal checkups either. Today, I'm imagining she's really wishing he wasn't so far away. I know I would be wishing that.
My Midwife's office is located right across the street from the hospital where I delivered Autumn. This is the same hospital where Keith worked until May.
After I found out I was pregnant, we scheduled my first appointment for a Saturday morning. I don't know why there were Saturday hours, since I haven't known her to have them since that day, but it worked well for us. Keith was there. After that, for each monthly checkup, I scheduled appointments between noon and 1 p.m. With all the monthly appointments which started to become every three weeks, every two weeks and then weekly at the very end, he only missed one appointment. There was just one that I couldn't make during that lunch hour. He was there to hear the heartbeat. He was there to see the sonogram. With our midwife's guidance, he got to feel Autumn's head after she was facing downward into my pelvis.
I know other mothers who have only managed to have their husbands there for the big appointments. I know others whose husbands were hit or miss. It's not always a choice -- often, work gets in the way. But mine was there for everything but one appointment. I realize I am a very lucky woman for this. Even now he tries to catch us at Autumn's regular checkups. I really appreciate his help when it comes time for her to get shots (which, thankfully, have slowed down). Another person to hold her down, to comfort her and then, when it comes time to pay, he can cuddle the screaming child (or even start to take her home) while I take care of the payment and the next appointment.
I once came across a quote on my calendar that said, "Mary S. Calderone, M.D., internationally recognized as a pioneer in the field of human sexuality, has this advice for parents. 'Remember: Our children are not going to be just our children — they are going to be other people’s husbands, wives, and parents.'"
So, on that note, I thank my in-laws for raising a man who's a good husband and father. I can only hope that we, and all the other parents out there, are raising wonderful future husbands, wives and parents, too.