For Diehard Cleveland Browns fans, it is much-deserved a win. A victory for one of the NFL’s most notorious losers. And, I can comfortably say this about my team, because, since I was old enough to say the word football, I’ve always been a Browns fan. My tears run orange and brown, depending upon the loss – whether it’s home or away. But there is hope, my fellow fans. No, not in the form of Brady Quinn, or LeCharles Bentley – but with the birth of Steely McBeam.
Anyone over age 6 has to think this steroid-induced fresh face from the steel city is a total reject. Castaway from Bob the Builder? Offspring of Paul Bunyon? The verdict is still out. Admittedly, I am pretty jaded when it comes to the Pittsburgh Steelers. So, in all things fair, I took my curiosity to the Blurbs in the ‘Burg to find out exactly what the natives are thinking. Turns out, I’m right. They ain’t diggin’ the guy holdin' the beam. Here are just a few alternative names for the Man of Steel that bloggers posted online: Jaundice McYellowface, Steely McLaidoff, Dopey McStupid, Steely McGayerson, Dummy McDumbass, Settie McOnfire, and Steamy McTurd… Their words, not mine. But the reality is this: Once the Pixburgh’eze gets to him, none of this matters because he’ll forever be known as Stilly McBim, anyway.
The thoughts continue to flow. One blogger writes that even the most vicious Dawg Pound fan would have come up with a less shameless idea… Another worries that the franchise named its mascot like an 8 year old child names a new pet hermit crab: “Look ma, it’s Pinchy McShell” or, “Hey, check out my new Hermie McCrab!” Others suggest that Steely is probably union, so why not just call him Coffee McBreak? Many more find relief in knowing how Bill Cowher’s chin will spend its time, now that he’s retired…
E’nuf trash talking for one day. I’ll leave it for the field, come Sunday, September 9th, when the Dawg Pound and the Irish lad, clad in plaid, battle it out on game day.
As always, I enjoy hearing from you. Email me anytime at Pat.VanZandt@wsee.tv