I absolutely love the days when I love to clean my house. There are certain mornings when I wake up and just feel like cleaning. Admittedly, these joyous revelations are few and far between, but a couple times a year I get into this mood where I have to clean every inch of my home. Sunday was one of those days. I had promised the kids I would take them to see Balls of Fury at the matinee, so I got an early start, and left no dust ball in my wake.

I am the type of house cleaner who demands recognition for my work… I scrub a floor, I call everyone into the room to revel in my work. I offer them a snack (to be eaten off my spotless floor) and everyone is reassured that “yes, mommy really is nuts.”

On this particular Sunday, I was in rare form. I scrubbed four toilets, two tubs and two showers; four counter tops; one refrigerator; five ceramic tile and hardwood floors, swept four bedrooms and a living room; sorted washed, and dried 11 baskets of laundry (Kelly was home from college with 3 loads of dirty laundry); washed and changed two beds; watered 27 house plants; cleaned one litter box; wiped away dog drool off 6 windows; and loaded and emptied the dishwasher two times.

The house looked good. Real good. And, it smelled good, too. I took satisfaction in knowing that we would return from the movie and enter a completely sterilized home.

Okay, stop the fairy tale music. Anyone who knows me knows that everything I do – in the end – ends up lousy. Nine out of 10 of my closest friends think that I was a black cat in a past life. I can’t argue the point. Only I can leave an immaculate home only to return to find it in shambles.

Turns out, I had two very busy pets while I was out. Ever hear the expression “the fur will fly?” Basically, it means this: cat + dog left home alone = area of devastation. One wrestling match = multiple piles of dog vs. cat fur left on carpet and couch. One couch pillow = ripped to shreds, stuffing spread all over the living room floor. Two plants knocked over = one broken flower pot (and, as a bonus, let’s not forget I had just watered the plants). One clean toilet = refreshing water bowl following wrestlemania. Spotless windows = slobbered glass and window sill.

So, my day went from Balls of Fury - The Movie...to Hell Hath No Fury - Like a Cleaning Momma Scorned. The beauty in all of this is that Rocco now has a new separation anxiety disorder I have to deal with...

As for the movie - two kids gave it a thumbs up, one said it was the worst movie ever, one gave it a firm average, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't give a hearty chuckle several times throughout....

As always, I enjoy hearing from you! E-mail me anytime at Pat VanZandt@wsee.tv