I violated Rule Number One this year on Valentine’s Day.
C’mon, guys, we all know Rule Number One so you might as well repeat it right along with me.
“Never listen to your wife when she says, ‘Don’t buy me anything for Valentine’s Day.’”
It was just Sunday when my wife walked up to me and said those very words, and added something like, “We don’t need to spend the money so let’s just forget it this year.”
Yes, I know, stupid of me, but I committed the ultimate sin.
I listened to my wife and actually did what she said.
Imagine my surprise when I walked down to the breakfast table (my wife’s a teacher and leaves before I get up) and found a perfectly wrapped little box with a card perfectly angled beside it.
Ah, but of course. When a wife says “Don’t buy me anything” she really means “Act like you’re not buying me anything but then buy me something and leave it on the breakfast table.”
You would think that after 15 years together I would have figured that out by now, but no, I took her at her word.
Which means that I spent the holiday running around getting her something after all, then acting like I had it with me all along.
“Oh sorry, honey, I left this in the car. I meant to give it to you before you left this morning. I picked this up, er, uh, Monday, yea.”
She might have even believed me.
Until she reads this.
What’s up with Valentine’s Day, anyway?
Why can’t you buy your wife something to show how you feel on a random day like April 19th or May 6th or September 23rd?
Yea, I know, because we probably wouldn’t do it until forced to by those good folks at Hallmark and Russell Stover.
But admit it, aren’t you just a little tired of white, red and pink color schemes by February 15th?
Doesn’t it feel just a little forced?
Of course, Peg and Bill Bremner were married 48 years ago on February 14th and if that hadn’t happened then I wouldn’t have happened.
So maybe Valentine’s Day isn’t so bad after all.
Even if I am expected to be a mind reader.