1. Detroit Lions. The champion of bad football teams, the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, was the last team to go winless (0-14). The Lions (0-12) face Minnesota (7-5), Indianapolis (8-4), New Orleans (6-6) and Green Bay (5-7) in the final month of the season. Who'll be motivated more; the Lions to win, or their opponents not to lose?

2. Notre Dame football. Back in September, that 35-17 victory over Michigan seemed telling. And it was; the Irish are better than Michigan, which isn't saying much. Charlie Weis' coaching career is on life support; white smoke should be appearing from the Basilica of the Sacred Heart before long.

3. New York Knicks. $21 million-a-year point guard Stephon Marbury, who sits the bench for the Knicks, suggests his coach's recent conversations about giving him playing time were offers he declined, not commands he ignored, and the suspension and docking of $400,000 in pay that followed is out of line. Marbury is upset that the franchise and his teammates hold him in such low regard and wants out of New York. Good luck with that trade.

4. Team Plax. After accidentally shooting himself in a nightclub Nov. 28, New York Giants receiver Plaxico Burress posted $100,000 bail on weapons charges Monday. New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is infuriated and calling for full prosecution allowed by law, which includes a mandatory prison sentence for carrying a loaded handgun. Teammate Antonio Pierce is being investigated for his role in the fiasco. The NFL is monitoring the whole scene. Somehow the defending Super Bowl champions won their seventh straight game Sunday, without Burress and his Swiss cheese thigh in the lineup. Their last loss? 35-14 at Cleveland Oct. 13. There has to be a scientific formula for things like this.

5. Tampa Bay Lightning. They get new owners, fire a Stanley Cup-winning coach, get the No. 1 draft pick, sign every available free agent -- and tank in the early season, leading to the firing of the coach-turned-broadcaster-turned coach, who responds with alarming candor. The newest coach has his own personal problems. After all that, the Lightning are the worst team in the East -- precisely where they finished 2007-08 -- with 19 points and a 6-10-7 record.

6. The Pittsburgh Pirates. If you have to ask, you really don't want to know.