Well, I missed the U.S.-Mexico El Classico last week.
I was traveling with my family on vacation, and I just happened to be in Columbus, Ohio, when the game was about to kick off.
We stopped at a restaurant, hoping there would be a chance to catch the first half on TV. I tried to pick a place that would show the game.
My luck. No soccer game.
I don’t want to name the establishment, so I’ll make up a name. I’ll call it, oohhhhhh, say, Banana Trees.
Banana Trees might have sports memorability all over its walls. But a sports bar it ain’t.
I had asked the hostess if they were going to show the soccer game, and she looked at me like I was from Mars.
You know, the soccer game! I heard it’s being played in a city called Columbus! You might have heard of it!
I then asked for seating where I could see the one big TV in the restaurant. (Surely, the game being played down the road would eventually come on.) The hostess told me she could not sit me in the bar area because I was going to need a highchair for my daughter.
Well, I didn’t ask for bar seating. Just a table with a view of the TV, of which there were many. Duh!
After giving up on the intelligence of the hostess, I asked my waitress if the soccer game would be coming on. She looked around as if she had lost a soccer game from her back pocket.
She said the patrons at the bar were watching the television, which happened to be showing a lame stock-car filler show on Speed TV. It didn’t look as if anyone at the bar was paying attention.
Waiting for obvious channel surf by the bartender ...
Nope, I was cooked.
I thought, the result of this game will be listed in newspapers and on sports news shows around the world. In fact, it probably was being viewed live by someone, somewhere in another hemisphere.
But not at Banana Trees, just a few miles away from the stadium.
Banana Trees, you failed me. I should have stopped at Bungalo Mild Things. Or even Pizza You Know.
After eating, I drove back onto the interstate and found the game on the radio. In Spanish. After failing to find the English equivalent on local radio, I settled for listening to the latter moments of the first half from Andres Cantor.
I was listening for names and key Spanish words, and couldn’t make out much, until I heard:
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!
Estados Unidos uno Me-heee-ko cero!
Gracias, Señor Cantor. I was happy.
Halftime came not long after. The radio station faded out before the start of the second half.
I crashed in my hotel, and saw the highlights the next morning.
USA 2, Mexico 0.
Oh yeah, and Mexican captain Rafa Marquez tried to turn U.S. goalkeeper Tim Howard into his own voodoo doll. A deserved red card, and national shame for Marquez.
What other result is there when these two teams play?
By the way, Sven-Goran Eriksson just doesn't look right in green.
NFL combine. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Anyone who actually sits and watches the NFL combine has absolutely zero credibility if they say soccer is boring.
Just ahead of the NFL Draft, the combine is numero uno Boring TV.
I would watch an actual game of ANYTHING before watching the combine. Give me cricket over the NFL combine. At least in the cricket match, someone is playing something and trying to win at something.